pure MADNESS

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3:00pm Start getting ready for our Ward Party/Trunk-or-Treat. PARTY STARTS AT 4:30 WITH A 20 MINUTE DRIVE THERE. Earl goes out to work on decorating the back of the car and Annabelle and Emily followed him. Molly still napping. I taste my chili--that I started working on the previous night, and realize that it's no good.

3:15pm Go outside to get the girls to start getting their costumes on. Molly still napping. Still haven't fixed the chili.

3:30pm Working on getting the girls dressed. Earl comes inside to tell me that he is going to run to Walmart (a 15 minute drive) to get something to make his homemade red light display flicker in the trunk. Molly still napping. Still haven't fixed the chili.

3:45pm Earl comes inside to say that he isn't going to go to Walmart--we will go on the way to the party. Annabelle is ready to go. Emily is dressed, but I am working on her face painting. Molly still sleeping. Still haven't fixed the chili.

4:00pm Still working on Emily's face painting--never done this before, getting pretty frustrated, wiped off and restarted about three times. Annabelle runs in to ask if we have "wax" for dad in the car. "Wax?" I snapped. Annabelle gets flustered and runs out.

4:02pm Annabelle runs back and asks for "tacks" to give dad out in the car. I snapped, "I'm a little busy right now, dad is going to have to get the tacks himself or wait!"

4:10pm Grab Emily's wig and the tacks for Earl. Holler out the back door for Annabelle and then through the tacks on the deck. Put Emily's wig on and see that most of my artwork is covered up by it.

4:24pm Earl comes in to see if we are all ready to go. We take Annabelle and Emily outside to take pictures. I remember the chili and ask Earl to taste it. He agrees it needs something, but offers no further help.

4:30pm Realize that Emily's foam clown nose IS not going to stay on. Earl attempts hot glue and tape. I take Emily BACK to the bathroom to paint on a red nose. I'm amazed that Emily has let me paint her face and that it seems like she is actually going to keep it on. We wake up Molly and put on the bottom layer of her costume and then head outside. I finally remember that I never fixed the chili. I open up the crockpot lid, throw in a bunch of chili powder and a little garlic powder, stir, and yell for Earl to carry it to the car.

4:40 Been on the road for about 10 minutes. Did not have time to stop at Walmart. The girls are fighting and Emily's face paint starts to suffer. I realize that Annabelle already has grass stains on her tights.

4:45pm Been on the road for about 15 minutes. Emily has fallen asleep. Annabelle asks, "Did you guys forget to bring the candy for Trick-or-Treating?"

4:45:30pm Earl and I realize that we have indeed forgotten the giant Sam's Club bag of Halloween candy.

4:50pm Finally arrive at the party 20 minutes late. I undo Emily's seat belt and ask her calmly to wake up. Emily wakes up and naturally takes the back of her hand to rub her eyes. argh! Facepaint suffers. We finish getting Molly's costume on.

5:00pm Earl leaves to get candy.

5:15pm The girls take a break from playing games and winning prizes to paint pumpkins. Molly lays on a hay bale and we discover that felt is pretty much like velcro.

5:25pm Just completed getting hay off Molly's costume to find that Annabelle and Emily have gotten paint all over theirs'.

5:45pm Earl is back, but is found to still be working on his lighting display in the trunk. The girls are hungry so I roast them each a hotdog over a gigantic bonfire.

6:00pm Earl still working on the trunk. I'm still flying solo. I take Annabelle and Emily through a Haunted Trail and leave Molly standing with Earl.

6:15pm Haunted trail over. Earl still working on trunk. I ask Earl if he's done and start to show my frustration at doing everything myself. Earl attempts a rebuttal at having just watched Molly which I cut off to explain that I just took his children through the forest in knee-high leather boots and nearly roasted my face off cooking them each a hot dog and I myself have yet to eat. To which I instruct Earl that he needs to make one for him and me. I notice Molly's costume is different and ask Earl what he's done. Earl informs me that two of Molly's straps broke off and he's had to tie it on a different way.

6:30pm The announcement of the "best costume" is read and I try not to get my hopes up though I was told that Molly was going to win and Annabelle said she was told by a lot of people that she should one. The winner is announced as Raggedy Ann. Everyone looks around for this child. People start to tell me that it's my daughter and I tell them I don't have a Raggedy Ann, I have a clown. The announcer says "Raggedy Ann, the Clark's girl...long pause...Lauralynn Clark is the winner of the costume contest." Lauralynn is actually dressed as Snow White. Confusion ensues. No one claims the honor.

6:45pm Trunk-or-Treat begins. I escort Emily through the trick-or-treating process and am told by several people, "look, it's the winner for best costume!"

6:46pm While still collecting candy, I realize that Emily has at some point previously sat on her bowl on chili.

6:50pm Molly's costume suffers more damage as the straps break further. Her costume is nearly falling off.

7:00pm A hayride is announced. We all pile into the trailer, drive through the cold, but enjoy ourselves.

7:26pm I'm cold and exhausted and ask someone what time it is, expecting it to be 9 or 10. I was told that is was 7:26.

7:30pm We pile into the car, the girls looking pretty rough--their costumes in shambles!! We start driving off and are chased down by the member who hosted the party. We roll down the window and she hands us a medal for Emily having won "best costume".

Let me just tell you, I can't believe we are attempting this costume business again in a week. I am so over my hot-glue gun! During this week I will need to replace Molly's straps with something with more structural integrity than tulle--what was I thinking, really? I will have to attempt cleaning face paint from Emily's yarn wig. I will have to wash the jelly fish and clown clothes in hopes that paint, grass, and chili stains will all be removed,while my sewing skills hold up. I will have to replace four different tendrils from the jelly fish hat and will need to come up with a better method for applying face paint. Who's idea was it to have Trunk-or-Treat on a night other than October 31st, come on!